Finding Joy In Stressful Times

, ,

Life is tough. It’s an endless battle of curve balls, highs, lows, experiences, and so much more. There’s so many expectations that we put on ourselves to be the best version of ourselves in the eyes of others. We struggle with stress and the inability to get out of our own heads. Are we good enough? Do we provide enough? Can we ever find some JOY when the world seems to be building up around us. Thats mental. It’s a trait that I hate to admit I “suffer” from. It’s personal and yet external at the same time. Finding the JOY in simple tasks might seem unachievable. So where is your JOY?

When times are tough we look for something to fill the gap, to bring some laughter and life lessons we can say we gave it our all. Recently, I became the coach of my son’s baseball team. I found a purpose that can be so impactful to the young minds that will shape our future. I find JOY even though it adds another item to my already stressful plate. Understanding that others depend on you is a path to self reflection and understanding that YOU are worth it. You can impact others. Others appreciate you. The smiles and thank you’s mean so much. Baseball was such a monumental piece of my life growing up. My dad and mom made sure I was able to be in team sports, they put their time on hold for me. As a result, I got to play in Cooperstown. I still have the ball from the game (homerun and grandslam) that helped us make it to the big show. I’ll never forget that day. I was 13. So, as I navigate each week I have the mindset that I can make dreams come true, establish kindness and collaboration, we can all experience that JOY.

I stress 3 rules that, after a couple of weeks, are impacting my son’s life:

  1. Be kind
  2. Be safe
  3. We are a TEAM, we WIN together

Those three rules are what I instill every time we meet.  Every practice that can be stressful to ensure it’s fulfilling, teaching the right things, how can this bring JOY, what do we all get out of a simple hour. Thats a win in my book. I see happiness, the new experiences, bringing community together for others. Stress comes in many forms and can consume/overwhelm/persist how we think about ourselves, but there is JOY in leaving our personal mental issues aside and provide life lessons to those that depend on us.

Understanding that stress can be overcome to provide JOY for others AND yourself is key to battling the inner voice telling you that you are not doing enough. It’s your super power that can be shared, it’s not yours alone. Bring joy to others and you’ll find that JOY will come back to you. Be a team player for your mind, be safe when you think of others, you can win too!

 

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Ashley Ludwig (@mama.a.lud)

Celebrate You: it’s Ok to be Happy

,

I think one of the hardest parts of the mental health journey is the ability to accept and celebrate your internal happiness. What goals have you met? Did you make any promises to your self this week? Can you find happiness in others’ joy when you don’t feel your best? What are 3 things you love about your life right now? Can you just choose to believe you are on the right path to mental freedom?

Choosing to celebrate YOU can be tough. The thought of embarrassment, shame, shyness, what will people think when you share yourself? Well it’s time to take a leap of faith. You can sulk in the unknowns of your dark mind while others are begging to understand. You have to set yourself free from self ridicule and in to the light of acceptance or you’ll never give yourself a chance of moving forward.

I hope this website stands as my leap of faith. I’m still a little embarrassed or nervous about the reactions, but in days it’s been overwhelming support. People I didn’t even know are reaching out to say it was “brave”, “encouraging”, and so much more. I can now choose to tell myself the same thing. I helped someone. I can make a difference to my own mind but also to others. I took a step forward.

For that one initial post, I thank myself.

This is one step that I fought to take for so long. I kept it all in and to myself. I would never let anyone else know that I was proud of making a small improvement, nor would I ever explain the pain behind it. I lived in my own paradigm of light and dark. Today I’m one step closer to getting on the path to inner joy.

Surrender allows recovering Nice Guys to see each life experience as a “gift” from the universe to stimulate growth, healing and learning. Instead of asking, “Why is this happening to me?” the recovering Nice Guy can respond to life’s challenges by pondering, “What do I need to learn from this situation?

In this process I also learned to celebrate the joys of others too. To use their happiness not as a “poor me, I wish that was me” moment, but to apply their method or achievement as a goal of my own. Promotions, fitness goals, life changes, birthdays, etc. Learning to be happy for others in time of uncertainty can prep your thoughts on how others will be happy for you, and then how you can be happy for yourself.

So, start with the inside voice through self acknowledgment. Even on a bad day you lokely achieved something good that you won’t tell yourself. You woke up, you got ready, you read your kids a book, you did something! It’s ok to be happy!

 

 

It’s been awhile…..

, , , , ,

So I have been distant, been pulled back, been out of the story game for a minute. Not by choice, but by responsibility (life has been amazing overall). I love my little man and have devoted more time to him and my beautiful wife than messages. My message still remains clear: I love my family, I want to be better, I want to deliver a message that makes sense, I love everyone around me that makes me better, I want life to be an example that everyone can be proud of! We have a single purpose, so we all have to live it.

So a question or challenge comes to mind: “What do you feel as the biggest challenge in your life?”. Do you feel that you can accomplish what you want in the near future? Do you have the needed support system? Do you have the drive internally to make it happen? What is holding you back? Do you love yourself?

Life if ever changing…

So what, who cares? Are you happy? Do you feel “full”? This is what I live by every day of my life. It’s a constant that I can live by and bring to the to the table. Something that makes everything worth living. The pain, the fun, the hardships that make you as a person to overcome. That is what makes you human. That’s what makes you “whole”. Overcome and conquer your life as you only have one chance.

Embrace the fun, the bad, the pain, the love from family, the struggles that make you appreciate everything around you. Embrace the experience. You have 100 years (if you’re lucky, more realistically 80+) to do something, what do you want to accomplish versus being remembered by? Take control. Make a difference. Donate, volunteer, think of those that have it worse than you. You are not the 1%. There are people that need it more than you! You have breathe and you have drive. Make something of that!

Friends are Everything

, , , , ,

Friends come in many forms: mentors, schoolmates, people to lean on, and more. They help us keep everything real and bring us back to the life we have to live every day (sometimes in a bubble). I am thankful for the friends in my life. Some I see every day, some once a year, others even longer than I would want. But the time together makes it all worth it. After spending close to a week away from work and all the madness I got to see what true friendship is like. The immediate connection, our expanded families, immersive experiences I look forward to every time I see them. They embrace us like we see them every day. They take away our worries and troubles because they care and “want” to be there. I couldn’t be more grateful.

Friendship as a moment of growth

I love my friends and all they do. I would do anything for them. I don’t get to see them that much and that sucks, but everything above answers why I would call them “family” versus just “friends”. They also bring life and love to my family. Spending close to a week with a toddler isn’t easy (especially when he got sick), but they picked up the pieces instantly. They comforted him, they brought him in to the mix with their own kids, they were an extended source of parents when we needed it. We got to play “parents” to their kids when they needed it. I cherish the moments that we have as I see us growing old and watching our kids have the same friendship. It’s something I never had growing up but cherish now that I know my kids have lifelong families, even in different places. Once again, I couldn’t be more grateful. I thank you!

Mentors & Heroes that Shape Us

, , , ,

There’s so some great things in this world. The times we look back, the times we think of what we have, the times that we feel for someone else. I tear up when I see the experiences when a dad returns from duty to surprise his sons after a year of being across the world. I respect him. I cry for him. I get it. Those are our heroes. They are their heroes! They are the people that create a life for my own child, my own family, my own personal experience. They make my cry and make me happy all day every day. So what do you as a person do to create an experience like that? You don’t have to dedicate your life or put yourself on the line that may involve death. You simply have to be just and kind. Be good, be respectful, be true to the human spirit.

So I cry when I see those things. I cry as I have always had my dad right next to me. I’m lucky. I appreciate that he may be quirky, a rogue bandit, but has always given me guidance and strength. I cry because I care and respect what I have. I take that understanding and point it towards what I have also lost. A great mentor. A great “second Dad” if you will. A driver of humility and compassion. I lost. I seek for a replacement, but know that there will never be one. There will never be. But I respect what I have as most don’t have that. Many struggle for answers and closure. I have a pillar of humanity I can rely on, my dad. I feel for those that don’t. I love my Dad, I love what he does and what he has done for me and my sister, and my Mom.

My Dad, My Mentor, Experiences Driven by Life

My Dad has always been a mirror of my own self-being. He’s tough, he created a business that gave my sister and I a better life, a home that we shared amazing experiences. He lit me up when I was out of line. We butted heads, we utilized my mom as the “peace keeper” during high school cause we agreed to disagree. But he’s my best friend (outside of Ashley today). He was the first employer to fire me (I was lazy). He gave me balance. He also has struggled through life and family. He made me a better person and stronger partner for those I work with. He inspired me with hard work brings great results.

I thank you Dad every day and always.

my dad

Where We Began

, , ,

Life as a young “go for everything” type of child I knew that I could create trouble, be a mischievous wild man. My parents didn’t like that. I don’t blame them. I disappeared without notice. That cannot happen in today’s world. I remember getting ready for school and sneaking out to ride skateboards on my butt using my socks as the brakes. I went to school with holes in my socks. I was crazy. I also snuck out when we were moving to our new home to build a snow fort in my neighborhood friend’s backyard. That fort collapsed, and it became serious situation. My friend was ok after digging and digging. My mom was pissed. I don’t blame her. She was and has always been my protector. She always looked to where I was. I was crazy, but she is always there for me.

So that brings a great topic. Our parents bring something of understanding and protection throughout our lives. They care. They struggled to create us and they make things work. I think of that being a father now. I want everything for my little man. Cruz is the absolute best thing that has ever come in to my life, beyond my love for his mom. She is his rock. She takes pride in providing everything he needs and wants. I love her for that. The beginning of life is what shapes us as adults and members of this thing we call life. Mothers are where it begins.

my mom keena ludwig

A letter to my Wife

, , ,

There are times that are hard, times that are taxing, times that we love, laugh, cry, contemplate, celebrate, and more. I Love you! You are the most important person that has ever happened to me. You make me whole. You remind me that life is not about money or material crap that we can be mad about not working. You make me whole. I love the spirit you have. The drive to make a difference in your own life. The love you have for our child (and he loves you whole hearted). The special aspects or your father that made you the person you are today. You are special. You are a shining reflection of what is good in this world. You are my world. I’ll love you til the day I die. Ill love you for everything you represent. You are strong. You are caring. You are everything a man or father could pray for. You are my best friend and I love you for that. Don’t ever give up on your drive, don’t ever give up on what you makes you happy, don’t ever think that we will love less. We love you! We appreciate you! We appreciated everything you do!

Remembering the Best

, , ,

Throughout life we all have those that shaped us, molded our feelings, created models that we would one day follow and fulfill. They are our mentors. They can be physical mentors we see every day but also those we find through books, tv, or some other source. But they change and mold you to who you are today and who you may become. So, who is your mentor? Your spiritual source?  I know mine.

In 2014, I lost one of the most amazing people that have graced this earth. He was kind. He was compassionate. He was family oriented. He was a great leader. He was understanding. He was fun. He was always open to change and took the high road at all time. He was a legend. He gave me everything from day one. He never judged me. He gave me his daughter whole heartedly. He chose me to send him to the afterlife. I miss him every day.

greg eveloff in maui

Some things can never be expressed. Your love, your every moment with someone else. Life will go on. The world will continue to change as new life is created and old lives end. It sucks, but that’s life. Cherishing those moments are what create your legacy. Our moment in time is what makes us special. It’s also what makes others remember us for what we offered to the world we all have to continue living in.

greg eveloff

Remembrance is key. People suffered, loved, lived before you could take your first breathe. Remember that. The greats and inspirational people before us sacrificed something to give you a better life. They should be remembered as the source of your being, but more importantly the life values you follow. Greg Ira Eveloff was and will forever be my source of human will, passion, drive, selflessness. He was and will forever be my hero.

Saying Goodbye and Reflection

, , ,

In the story of life you have 80-100 years to make a difference, create family, create life, navigate good and bad times. That’s life. You aren’t going to live forever. You aren’t going to accomplish everything you wanted to.  But we always return to saying goodbye to those we love. Those we looked up to and struggle to compete against and those that we didn’t know but want to be. They are the identifiers that we live by in our early stages. They are our heroes/mentors/etc. They form our personal goals.

So what happens when they say goodbye for the last time? They take that next step to the other side of life and leave you to complete the path. They were the foundation. What do you take from that experience? What do you do to expand their mission? Do you stop, reflect, and sit within your current day to day? What do you do? No one but you can answer that….

Reflections

I personally struggle talking about past experiences, but feel they are important. I was introduced to someone that took life to the next level. He thought of family as most important, but took an extra step to engage with those that didn’t have what he had, or couldn’t achieve what he accomplished (it all takes time). He created his own path with struggle, so be clear it wasn’t given. He hustled and worked hard. He gave back even though he didn’t have to. Kids, families, struggling people that couldn’t do it on their own, he took responsibility as a human and dedicated time to make their lives better. He was a super hero. He continues to be my hero. Sadly I held my super hero as he faded off to the sky.

Self Maintenance

, , ,

Life is an ever-changing role of give and receive. What can you do today that you may need to reflect on tomorrow? Success, pain, heartbreak, breakthroughs. As a person in this world you have to reflect on what you are doing now and what may come in the future. It’s not easy. It’s not promised. It’s what you make of it. So think of your self. Think of what provides a meaning to you and those around you that contribute to your self satisfaction. You have one life to live and that is what defines your legacy. Most will be forgotten and dismissed, but what is your end goal on how YOU want to be remembered? Do you care? Do you want to be part of a conversation? That’s up to you.