shaade LYFE: a new beginning

So here we are…. the start of a new journey into the emotional rollercoaster called mental health. It is my journey but could easily be yours. It is my pain, experiences, feelings, and a critical outlet that helps me seek clarity and peace. Over the years it has been easy to hide behind the masculine front of a happy life while the stresses and demons filled my brain with unexplainable thoughts. Some good, most bad. But why? I live in a beautiful city, have an amazing wife who shows me love and support, two kids that bring so much laughter, and an overall great outlook on what’s to come. It’s something that I cannot explain, but I hope through shaade LYFE, I can try.

I think about the past couple years as a catalyst to how I landed here…on a blog…professing my deepest insecurities. As an anxious person I have always been consumed by outside feelings in various ways: the way I schedule my time and how it impacts others, how I think of rejection first, how I compare myself to others’ successes, always thinking about the “what-ifs”, the easy way outs of not being here, hiding behind addictions to numb the world, never thinking I’ll make it out of the imaginary “hole” I put myself in. I have dealt with loss. I have been down the road of suicide. I have continued a life of not feeling good enough.

That stops today. Welcome to shaade

In order to heal I have to be accountable to myself: It’s ok to be Sad. I strive for Hope. I have Anxiety. I struggle with Addiction. I combat Depression daily. I can beat Expectations.

Mental health has become such a mainstream topic today because it is unavoidable. Each of us has known someone that struggles with their outlook on life, seeks help, hides behind a smile, buries emotions in addiction, or just need a shoulder to lean on. Some of the most famous and seemingly “happy” figures today have told their stories and achieved a path forward, but many fill our news with sadness and pain as they left this world too soon.  Over time I hope further understand my mental health path to betterment through writing, conversation, and vulnerability. Having an outlet, even if nobody listens, is something that has helped me overcome past obstacles and ultimately why I’m still here. I hope that even one message or story can help someone find their own outlet and know they are and will always be “good enough”.  If you ever need help, I welcome your comments as we build this community together.

Sadness.Hope.Anxiety.Addiction.Depression.Expectations