Tag Archive for: achievements

THE Mental MOUNTAIN: Getting Over the Hump

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No matter how you describe your internal battle, it always seems to come down to facing a theoretical mountain of SHAADE ahead of you. Tackling your fears and lack of confidence starts with understanding your “mountain”. The foundation starts with the flat base of easy wins, the obstacles you face all the time but you have dealt with and won….or maybe lost and felt ok acceptance. These can be composed of happy or sad, but they are the foundations to your happiness.

The middle layer makes up the confusing and more difficult aspirations. It’s rocky (instability, anxiousness), filled with multiple paths (rights/wrongs, relationships, physicality), dangers that lurk around unknown turns (pain, rejection, loss), and it seems to never end (disappointment, doubt, repetition). The last challenge is taking on the top, the most difficult part of your journey. These are life events that require complete commitment, might never be achievable, but can change your life and those around you.

As I try and find my way over the mountain, I find that most of my constant mental battle lives in the middle layer. My middle layer seems bigger than it should be. It’s filled with obstacles that I know I can overcome, but the path seems to get more and more “rocky” due to voices and perception I put on myself. The path gets unclear, my mind can’t choose the right turn, I feel that I go around in circles, when will I reach a peaceful valley…..

“I’ve come to believe that all my past failure and frustrations were actually laying the foundation for the understandings that have created the new level of living I now enjoy.”

 

The best way that I have been able to compartmentalize my inner struggle is to break down the sections in to sizable chunks. If I can turn the middle layer and all of its challenges in to mini layers, then my mind can let go of seeing these as ONE BIG mental headache, but more of mini tasks with more WINs along the way. For my first mini mountain, I have chosen to work on my lack of confidence in where my life is at today. The past month has been confusing. The uncertainty in the workplace, the slow pace that occurs at the start of the year, viewing others’ successes as personal failures, not thinking you make a difference to those around you, etc. I know most of it isn’t even relevant, but my mind has other thoughts. It is trying its hardest to bring in depression and anxiety. This is my mental problem and I know I can beat it.

The success of overcoming this mini mountain will come to light over the next couple of weeks, but for now I have to believe:

I CAN be confident. I CAN change my way of thinking. I KNOW I can get through this hump.

Shut it DOWN: The inner voice reality

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We all have that inner voice that compels us, tells us to do something, tells we aren’t worthy, we are not good enough, we can be better, we will never achieve greatness, we can do anything we put our mind to, we can change, we will fail, we will be better some day, we we we…… What does your voice tell you?

I certainly struggle with this every day. I expect the best but understand that I have obstacles, burdens, commitments, the strive to be the best self possible. It may not always be for me, for my family, for overall lifestyle, it is what it is. I suffer from the inner voice and its control over my every day life. #complacency

The voice can be good or bad, depending on the day, but it doesn’t have to be a WE. The “inner voice” has its own motives. It’s a calling to be better, to feel fulfilled, to be the best dad, the be the best husband. It can also break you down and make you look back on life in regret or self disappointment. It can also be your inner champion for growth OR your biggest critic. Can you channel the good and overcome the bad? I sure am trying.

At the end of the day we explore ourselves and we try and explain the reason we have life. We feel the burden, we feel the stress, we feel the need to be the pillar of strength to our family. We need more….we need to silence or learn to control the inner voice.

So here it is, I’m somewhat broken, I strive to be the pillar, I want to provide, I want to be more. I CAN! I can be the man i want to be! I can focus my mental thoughts on what matters most….ME.

One piece of content that I feel speaks true to myself and many other men out there is Dr. Robert Glover’s “No More Mr Nice Guy”

In this book you can begin to realize that the inner voice begins with you and what you can do to better understand your feelings and emotions. You can be a fulfilled individual, you can be proactive in your own care, you can be the voice of reason that guides you to betterment. You can be you!

As I overcome my own personal battles I push this on to the others in the world who see hope as something they’ll never achieve. It comes down to courage and the willingness to try and learn. Don’t pin yourself down to no end, change the mindset to know that happiness is achievable. It’s there, you just have to want it.

Some key points:

  • “How come I always seem to give so much more than I get?”
  • “All I want is to be appreciated. Is that asking too much?”
  • “I can never do it right.”
  • Scream at yourself to be better
  • Be the man you want to be
  • Understand your worth
  • Be YOU