Tag Archive for: self worth

You Got This – Self Motivation

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In most cases it is easy to feel defeated, overwhelmed, unworthy, not doing the right thing, being a poor example to others, the list goes on and on. That’s the problem with self reflection and the impact we have on our self-esteem. We’re tough, we’re mean, we’re respectable, we’re unable to accept that WE do a lot. We are so great in the eyes of many, but not in our own view. YOU ARE WORTHY!

As I go down this journey of self motivation it’s key to really digest WHY you are important, you are. Alot of times I find myself questioning my own self-worth throughout life. It could be easy to give up. It could be selfish to think of myself. It could be simple to look at others and compare. YOU ARE WORTHY!

So, this is a short post about self motivation and the keys to success about our internal demons and how they can control every day perspectives, BUT you can control it. You have to! YOU ARE WORTHY!

Why should i self reflect?

  • I’m a great person filled with compassion and expressive thought
  • I’m a son that was provided with amazing experiences thanks to my parents
  • I’m a Dad that always wants the best for the development of my children
  • I’m a husband that cares and respects my partner’s feelings
  • I’m a person, I have feelings, I can own my mistakes, I can always improve
  • I AM WORTHY of a happy life outside of anxiety and depression
  • I AM who I am, I have so much to give

The route to happiness is rooted in self motivation and as I repeat myself, YOU ARE WORTHY! Be YOU, be respectful of your own feelings, be a motivator of those around you.

 

 

THE Mental MOUNTAIN: Getting Over the Hump

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No matter how you describe your internal battle, it always seems to come down to facing a theoretical mountain of SHAADE ahead of you. Tackling your fears and lack of confidence starts with understanding your “mountain”. The foundation starts with the flat base of easy wins, the obstacles you face all the time but you have dealt with and won….or maybe lost and felt ok acceptance. These can be composed of happy or sad, but they are the foundations to your happiness.

The middle layer makes up the confusing and more difficult aspirations. It’s rocky (instability, anxiousness), filled with multiple paths (rights/wrongs, relationships, physicality), dangers that lurk around unknown turns (pain, rejection, loss), and it seems to never end (disappointment, doubt, repetition). The last challenge is taking on the top, the most difficult part of your journey. These are life events that require complete commitment, might never be achievable, but can change your life and those around you.

As I try and find my way over the mountain, I find that most of my constant mental battle lives in the middle layer. My middle layer seems bigger than it should be. It’s filled with obstacles that I know I can overcome, but the path seems to get more and more “rocky” due to voices and perception I put on myself. The path gets unclear, my mind can’t choose the right turn, I feel that I go around in circles, when will I reach a peaceful valley…..

“I’ve come to believe that all my past failure and frustrations were actually laying the foundation for the understandings that have created the new level of living I now enjoy.”

 

The best way that I have been able to compartmentalize my inner struggle is to break down the sections in to sizable chunks. If I can turn the middle layer and all of its challenges in to mini layers, then my mind can let go of seeing these as ONE BIG mental headache, but more of mini tasks with more WINs along the way. For my first mini mountain, I have chosen to work on my lack of confidence in where my life is at today. The past month has been confusing. The uncertainty in the workplace, the slow pace that occurs at the start of the year, viewing others’ successes as personal failures, not thinking you make a difference to those around you, etc. I know most of it isn’t even relevant, but my mind has other thoughts. It is trying its hardest to bring in depression and anxiety. This is my mental problem and I know I can beat it.

The success of overcoming this mini mountain will come to light over the next couple of weeks, but for now I have to believe:

I CAN be confident. I CAN change my way of thinking. I KNOW I can get through this hump.

HOPE through reflection

Hope is a strong word that can mean so many things: hope for the better, the worst, to be rich, to be happy, to feel fulfilled, to be an amazing athlete, to feel whole again……. My definition of hope begins with what can you achieve in a realistic mindset. Can you become the better man that you want to be for yourself or for others? I HOPE I can.

Over the past couple of years, it has been difficult to comprehend what the realistic outcome of any change would be. With the onset of the pandemic the whole world felt distant from each other. We no longer had the social interaction I so desperately needed, and it became the perfect storm that took my life on another path. I felt tired. My health was in disarray. I was complacent in what I had in front of me. I felt worthless and just a cog in the wheel. I worried night and day about when “normal” would come back. When would I feel the self-worth I was so desperately trying to achieve? I felt no hope at all. Hope-LESS

After years of tormenting myself in anxiety and depression, I’d say that hope eventually found me…and not in the best way. My body ached and I had sleepless nights. I felt so worn down and unhappy with my appearance I wanted to give up. I would be better off gone, I thought. But then, with a glimmer of hope I didn’t see in myself, my wife pushed/pleaded/insisted to get a physical. This is something I hadn’t done in over 15 years. Drumroll…..the bad news. Your liver is shot, kidneys a mess, cholesterol high and on the verge of diabetes, nerve problems, weight beyond reasonable, loss of memory, potential of cancer in your blood, and the list kept going. I saw more doctors and specialists over 3 months than I had in my entire life (not to mention all the blood work).  I was 34….

That’s when HOPE reached out and saved my life.

Most people equate this to “the lightbulb turned on” notion. NO, mine was DO or DIE (physically or mentally). I did the tests, I then knew that if I didn’t change my behaviors and thoughts on both sides: I wouldn’t see my children grow up and they wouldn’t have a father I always wanted to be (irreparable), I’d be a bad partner and not commit to our vows for over 16 years (cowardly), I’d be a disappointment to my family and continuation of past experiences (guilt/recurrence), I’d be the pity of conversation with friends (embarrassment), I’d be the “guy” that couldn’t get over his own securities to save his life and the emotions of those around him (self-guilt).

Everything stated above was flowing through my head. Weird to think that with all that doubt and contradiction, end of life was still a thought. That’s #mental

It took time to calm down, but i knew that was the only way. Do some meditation, read some positive books (thanks Headway), workout to clear my mind. Most importantly, address my addiction with alcohol. I might not remember the exact day, but the day I chose to live for myself is the only reason I’m writing this today. My “light bulb turn ON”! From that day forward, while not always easy, I started applying the #mentalwork needed to be there for all those that needed me too. As an emotional person I think about the aftereffects “If” I were to do something selfish before doing so. I wish others would’ve done the same, but inner voices get you and they can’t overcome. I chose the feelings of those around me as a catalyst to be better. Get healthy, be present, seek help, feel the power of self-worth, work harder, appreciate what you have, HOPE to do better.

### This was a long story on my progression for HOPE and the possibilities, awareness, and simple therapeutic outlet I chose to explore, but more will come. My journey as of 1-2-2023 equates to: 45lbs lighter, anxiety reduced by action, bigger belief in self-worth, deeper understanding of HOPE, and my choice to exceed expectations.

Sadness.Hope.Anxiety.Addiction.Depression.Expectations

@shaade.lyfe